More emotions; even for me?!

I never know when it's coming, but it does still hit me, sometimes, really hard.




Crying.




Everyone knows that I am no "hold-in-your-emotions" type, but honestly, I can usually control them. However, it seems without rhyme or reason, the sadness of being without my friend, Sarah, knocks me down. Sometimes, I am very brave, and sometimes, I am just existing and functioning. Sometimes, I am really happy. But you know, all of the normal emotions from my life seem different now - changed. Not worse or better, but they have changed.




I'm just now home from singing in a choir concert. I belong to a community choir of about 100 people. The process of working hard to learn "the big works" is awesome to me. I love being a part of the group and contributing to something which creates such a beautiful product. (You can hear my choir on youtube, if you want to. youtube.com/columbiachorale)



Tonight, we did a "kick-off" concert for our season, and it was a huge variety of pieces. We had everything from Hayden to Bellini, Strauss to Mendelssohn. Also, some pieces composed by our own. All - excellent. Anyway, the orchestra played a piece called Gabriel's Oboe, from The Mission, by Enio Morricone. It was in honor of our principal oboe player, who passed away this summer. His friends and loved ones were playing for him, and it absolutely sunk me.



Luckily, there were some comic relief pieces between that one and when I had to sing, so I could get it together enough.



Maybe I'm changing into an even deeper "feeler" than I already was. Maybe that's not bad. I hope I can handle it.



I still miss you, my friend.